Time To Wake Up This Place!
Hey!
1. Neftali Feliz (P) - When
I watch him, I'm like Homer Simpson and Mindy Simmons whispering "think unsexy
thoughts" to themselves. He's that
good. I really can't say any more about
this in public.
2. Tanner Scheppers (P) --
With all due respect to Finnerty, "Tanner Scheppers" doesn't sound like an ace.
"Tanner Scheppers strikes out the side?"
I think not. More like "Top Chef runner-up
Tanner Scheppers owns a bistro in Couer D'Alene." But he's pitching fantastic in the Arizona
Fall League. (I also worry about 2nd-rounder
Tommy Mendonca, who'll surely be called "Mendonkey" by opposing fans. He'd better have a stout heart, and maybe
Rafael Palmeiro's earplugs as well.)
3. Martin Perez (P) - People
say he's the next Johan Santana. Didn't
4. Justin Smoak (1B) - He
kind of laid an egg in AAA. To think
that
5. Kasey Kiker (P) - 21
years old and had the most strikeouts among
6. Mitch Moreland (OF) -
Just a straight shooter with upper management written all over him.
7. Marcus Lemon (IF) - Had a
bad year in AA but is tearing up the
8. Mike Bianucci (OF) - Wow,
.288 with 30 homers. I guess I could've
driven up from my home in LA to
9. Wilmer Font (P) - I'm not totally sure who or what a "Wilmer Font" is, but
he's young and threw almost as well as Perez.
10a. Matt Nevarez (P) - Like Font, I don't know much about him, but I
see he struck out 50 in 35 innings in
10b. Kevin Richardson (C) -
Guess which Rangers catcher hit the most homers in 2009? Someone named Doug Hogan. But
Who's disappointing me: Michael Main (missed most of season with
ebola-like virus), Blake Beavan (Dude, Where's My Strikeouts?), Max Ramirez
(can we bring back Kenny Lofton?), Engel Beltre (ugh).
Unanswered questions: If
Hicks sells the Rangers soon, might Grady Fuson finally fulfill his dream of
becoming the GM? Did Matt Purke know
that TCU is a real school with real classes and homework when he turned down
that cash? Is Marlon Byrd the next Mark
Derosa or Gary Matthews? If Ivan
Rodriguez is the answer, what is the question?
Other thoughts: Sad to see blogger emeritus Jamey Newburg dissing
my man Finnerty over at Lone Star Ball.
Thought he was above that sort of thing.
I still read him - the dude's forgotten more baseball than most ever
learned -- but all the stuff about his kids and bad music (who admits to liking
Live?) wears me out. Here at Crops, we're
trying to be smart, on-topic, clairvoyant, AND entertaining.
Emphasis on "trying," since I
haven't written a word in months. I'm no better than who I'm criticizing. Maybe a little better. Anyway, people need to chillax, me
included. One love.
In case you spent your
summer on Mars, the auteur
--MFB





