Hey!  Michael Bay
here.  Sorry to be gone so long.  How about a Top Ten prospect update!

1. Neftali Feliz (P) – When
I watch him, I’m like Homer Simpson and Mindy Simmons whispering “think unsexy
thoughts” to themselves.  He’s that
good.  I really can’t say any more about
this in public.

2. Tanner Scheppers (P) –
With all due respect to Finnerty, “Tanner Scheppers” doesn’t sound like an ace.
“Tanner Scheppers strikes out the side?” 
I think not.  More like “Top Chef runner-up
Tanner Scheppers owns a bistro in Couer D’Alene.”  But he’s pitching fantastic in the Arizona
Fall League.  (I also worry about 2^nd-rounder
Tommy Mendonca, who’ll surely be called “Mendonkey” by opposing fans.  He’d better have a stout heart, and maybe
Rafael Palmeiro’s earplugs as well.)

3. Martin Perez (P) – People
say he’s the next Johan Santana.  Didn’t Houston lose Santana in the Rule 5 draft?  I hope that doesn’t happen to Perez.

4. Justin Smoak (1B) – He
kind of laid an egg in AAA.  To think
that Texas could have had Jason Castro, who might’ve solved the
catching problems I wrote about this spring. 
But then I remember that Smoak destroyed the best pitchers from Europe in the World Cup, and I worry less. 

5. Kasey Kiker (P) – 21
years old and had the most strikeouts among Texas‘s AA and AAA teams. 
Likes to hit people.  His dad was
smart enough not to give him a middle name starting with “K.” 

6. Mitch Moreland (OF) -
Just a straight shooter with upper management written all over him. 

7. Marcus Lemon (IF) – Had a
bad year in AA but is tearing up the AFL.  Keep the faith.

8. Mike Bianucci (OF) – Wow,
.288 with 30 homers.  I guess I could’ve
driven up from my home in LA to Bakersfield to catch him in person, but have you ever been
there? Cows, oil rigs and tweakers as far as the eye can see.  No thanks.

10a.  Matt Nevarez (P) -  Like Font, I don’t know much about him, but I
see he struck out 50 in 35 innings in Hickory. 
Promising.  I wonder if they’ll
let him skip Bakersfield like Perez and Feliz. 

10b. Kevin Richardson (C) -
Guess which Rangers catcher hit the most homers in 2009?  Someone named Doug Hogan.  But Richardson was second. 
He hit 13 in AAA.  Texas‘s so-called “Big Three” of Saltalamacchia,
Teagarden, and Max Ramirez combined for 20. 
Whoopee.  Let Salty and Tea fight
for the starting job, trade the loser, and make K-Rich the backup. 

Who’s disappointing me:  Michael Main (missed most of season with
ebola-like virus), Blake Beavan (Dude, Where’s My Strikeouts?), Max Ramirez
(can we bring back Kenny Lofton?), Engel Beltre (ugh). 

Unanswered questions: If
Hicks sells the Rangers soon, might Grady Fuson finally fulfill his dream of
becoming the GM?  Did Matt Purke know
that TCU is a real school with real classes and homework when he turned down
that cash?  Is Marlon Byrd the next Mark
Derosa or Gary Matthews?  If Ivan
Rodriguez is the answer, what is the question?

Other thoughts:  Sad to see blogger emeritus Jamey Newburg dissing
my man Finnerty over at Lone Star Ball. 
Thought he was above that sort of thing. 
I still read him – the dude’s forgotten more baseball than most ever
learned — but all the stuff about his kids and bad music (who admits to liking
Live?) wears me out.  Here at Crops, we’re
trying to be smart, on-topic, clairvoyant, AND entertaining. 

Emphasis on “trying,” since I
haven’t written a word in months. I’m no better than who I’m criticizing.  Maybe a little better.  Anyway, people need to chillax, me
included.  One love. 

In case you spent your
summer on Mars, the auteur Michael Bay,
with whom I share a name and a love of life, dropped “Transformers: Revenge of
the Fallen.”  I pulled some strings to
catch a sneak preview and can attest that it will command your attention for
each of its 147 minutes, so if you didn’t catch it in the theater, rent it now
and crank up the blue ray.  Ignore the negative
reviews by grumps like the mean-spirited Roger Ebert, who’s busy enjoying Woody
Allen’s latest navel-gazer or some Dutch flick about troubled souls.  

–MFB

I’m back! Sorry for the
writing delay, but I had a family member pass and I was forced out of town for
a few weeks. Sometimes losing a loved one makes everything else seem small and
trivial. I just lost a part of me and I couldn’t find the spark to get up off
the couch and back into the game. 

 R1 (14) LHP Mathew Purke: Color me tickled. Purke might turn
out to be the best first round selection since fellow Texan John Danks in 2003.
Purke who is from Texas, was one of the best left handed pitchers in the draft
with an explosive fastball and a very good slider. He is a tall kid with room
to add more mass as he gets older. This is the type of draft pick the Rangers
needed to make. He might just blow away the competition and reach Arlington
before all the busts not-named Blake from the 2007 draft. Mark my words. Purke
is going to be an ace. Apparently he only fell to Texas because of his bonus
demands but that wont stop Billionare Tom Hicks from writing the check Jerry
Jones style. (Is having three Billionare owners good for Dallas sportsfans or
bad? Discuss.) Purke seems like a lock to sign and should reach Hickory by the
end of the season. I cant wait until this kid makes it to Arlington. Start the
timer.

Grade: A+

R1 (Supplemental) RHP Tanner Scheppers: As if I weren’t
already tickled silly, the Rangers placed their hands on my body and started
the tickling all over again. Scheppers was a top 5 pick that fell because of an
injury last season. He is a great pitcher with a monster fastball and the ability
to throw strikes. His curve is also a very good pitch and so is his
changeup.  He has good size and
strength and shouldn’t require much time in the minors. He has been playing for
an independent team up north so he should be almost ready for the majors. The
best thing about Scheppers is his name. Tanner Scheppers just sounds like an
ace. Tanner Scheppers pitches a no-hitter. Tanner Scheppers strikes out the
side. Tanner Scheppers is starting tonights all-star game. See?

Grade: A+

R2: 3B Tommy Mendonca: I think I speak for everybody when I
say who?  This was a confusing
pick. Not only had I not heard of Mendonca but most other publications hadn’t
either. Apparently he will be a cheap player to sign and he likes to strike
out. Not much to see here. I would rather not waste space on a player that wasn’t
even known before the draft.  

Grade: F

R3: LHP Robert Erlin. Well, it looks like the Rangers
drafted another throw away player. Erlin who? Erlin is a very short lefthanded
pitcher that doesn’t throw hard and doesn’t have a high ceiling. He was a cheap
player to sign and not much else. How many little pitchers do the Rangers need?
Kiker has potential but Ross hasn’t even been good enough to pitch and we
drafted him last season. If Erlin is the new Ross than Rangers fans deserve an
apology.

Grade: F

R4: RHP Andrew Doyle. I like this pick. Doyle is a big kid
from Oklahoma with a strong arm. I wish he was from Texas and not Oklahomo but
at least he can pitch. He has the size and strength to pitch at the big league
level. He could be in Arlington pretty fast. He doesn’t have a ton to learn in
the minors.

Grade: B

R5: RHP Nick McBridge: Tall, young, with a good arm…..yes
please. McBride is from high school in North Carolina and is a good young
pitcher. He will probably need time to develop in the minors but he is a big
kid with a big arm and a big future. Sleeper pick here. He could really become
something.

Grade: B+

R6: Rueben Sierra Jr. Hell yeah! Yes. That Rueben Sierra. If
he is half the player he dad was he will make a great major leaguer. The
Rangers need better outfielders and it looks like they think Sierra is the next
great Rangers outfielder. From the looks of it lately the Rangers could use
both of the Sierra’s in their current line-up. That would be pretty cool. We
could copy the Mariners when they had both Griffeys. Hey, it worked for them.
Great pick.

Grade: A

Sully’s back in da House — but will Vincente Padilla too??

I read that today is the day that Padilla’s waivers end so I guess we’ll know soon what team he’ll be on now — meaning what team he’ll be the new assiassin for !!  Can you believe that guy had the [*guts*] to put his Ranger jersey on and hang out in the dugout even after the Ranger management had enough of his meltdowns and waived him?  He shouldve gone back to Venezuela and watched on his Direct TV waiting to find out who his new team would be!!

I’m excited to find out what team he’s gonna poison next — hey maybe the Yankees ought to take him since they don’t care about money and hey, he helped them win a big game the other night! — or maybe the Angels who also don’t care about money and can find out some good inside scoop about the Rangers hitters and pitchers if they add Padilla to thier team.

And even if he doesn’t get claimed today that means we can trade him to ANYBODY and he doesn’t have a choice where !  Sucker !!  Or we can release him and spend that $12 million on someone else (Ben Sheets and David Dallucci anyone?  maybe even Tom Glavine since he’s now out on the street and could mentor Harrison and CJ “time bomb” Wilson).  Someone even wrote (I think in the DMN) that we could trade Hank and Visquel to Boston for Buckholz….hey maybe JD can watch tonight in Theo’s suite and git r’ done!  Think about this team with Padilla gone and Glavine, Sheets, and  Buckholz here !! 

(man, I just thought of something else that makes me mad — if we could trade on draft day, which  I think they said would be legal the next time they have labor disputes, we’d then have enough pitching that we could trade BMac and Feldman plus a prospect hitter like Whittleman, who will never play 3b here, for Strasberg!  The Nats need so much they’d have to think hard about doing that……..)

I won’t miss you Padilla !!  You were always entertaining but your teammates didn’t like you and I bet we go on a tear now that you’re gone.

And I just thought of another thing —since we traded Dallucci to Philly for you, we could bring this thing full circle.  Genius !!  Git r’ done !!

—–Sully……….IN DA HOUSE !!!!

What is a prospect?

Is a prospect long and lean like every girl’s dream? Is he a
star in the making? When looking at a prospect, you have to make a series of
determinations. Let’s look a few:

1. Age.
   (Is he young for his league? Is he advanced?
2. Size
   (Is he fully grown? Can he fill-out/grow taller/stronger)
3. Position
   (Does he plays SS, CF or Catcher Can he? Does he pitch?)
4. Tools
   (can he hit, can he throw, is he fast)
5. Attitude
   (The call it make-up. Is he a good guy? Does he work hard?)
6. Coachability
   (Can he take direction? Can he learn)
7. Contract
   (Was he a bonus baby?)
8. Draft
   Location (Is he a local player?)
9. Stats
   (Are they promising? Can he play at a high level)
10. Ballplayer. (Is he a ballplayer? Does he have the look?)

Well, as you might also have heard, Manny lost his honor and about one-third of his salary recently.  His replacement, the once-scorned Juan Pierre, is batting .391 and was the catalyst in tonight’s victory. 

I give you “JuanPierreWood.”  Ordered my tee the minute I saw it, baby.

How about Pierre and Andruw Jones sharing the Comeback Player of the Year award?  Do they have that in baseball?  Beats me.  They should if they don’t.

– MFB

Hey! Michael Bay here with some
random thoughts:

I’d praised catcher Max
Ramirez two weeks ago, but after his continued struggles I’m increasingly convinced
he’s not going to pan out.  Just think: The
Rangers believed they had three catching prospects over the winter.  With Taylor Teagarden also not hitting well and
Jarrod Saltalamacchia just getting by, now they have one at most.  Perhaps Teagarden should join Ramirez in AAA,
and Texas could acquire a veteran catcher to assist Salty.  Eliezer Alfonzo is hitting .309 in Portland.  Maybe Texas‘ could offer someone like Jose Vallejo (who is
blocked at second and short here) for him. 

Some prospects Texas needs
to promote NOW:  C Manny Pina, 1B Justin
Smoak, OF Mitch Moreland, OF Tim Smith, OF Mike Bianucci, SP Kasey Kiker, SP
Martin Perez (Yeah, he’s 18, but he’s got a 2.70 ERA.  Nothing left to prove in the Sally League).  I would’ve added SP Omar Poveda to the list
in agreement with my buddy Fin, but he’s getting rocked today.    

Props to Ron Washington for
getting his Rangers off to a good start. 
Texas needs to pick up his 2010 option TODAY and give him
the job security he deserves.    

Funny: I wrote this last
week but was too busy to post it:  “Wanted
to point out that my man Juan Pierre is batting .367.  Not bad for a ‘fourth outfielder.’  He hit .283 last year and lost his job!  Life’s 
a bitch, huh?”

Well, thanks to Manny being
Manny, Pierre now gets to play almost every day.  Being a Dodger fan in addition to the
Rangers, I didn’t want it to happen this way, but this could work out great for
LA.  Pierre is proving his naysayers wrong (.426 average!), and
if the Dodgers foolishly still don’t want him, they can trade him for a top
prospect.  Intra-division trades aren’t
common, but San
Francisco will soon
need to replace 35-year-old Randy Winn. 
Maybe the Giants would fork over Madison Bumgardner and a decent
bat.  Pierre‘s owed $28.5 million for 2009-2011, reasonable money
for a .300 average, steals, defense and veteran leadership.  San Fran could put him in center and move
Aaron Rowand to right.   

Finally, did you know film
director Michael Bay
(with whom I share a name) earned $25 million for “Pearl Harbor?”  It’s
true!  He once said, “I love it when
people get really mean and call you a ‘hack’. It’s like, don’t they see how
well these movies are doing?”  Man, that
guy embodies the American Dream. 

– MFB

– Sully, IN DA HOUSE !!